Monday, November 28, 2011

I was playing zelda six hours a day, i was drinking more mountain dew then ever, I must admit, i had a drinking problem. I didn't have a drivers liscense, I didn't have a girlfriend, i didn't have a life, i wore horrible shoes, i wore terrible pants, i wore v-necks and shorts, i wore flip flops, i had horrible hair, it was neat.
I was walking down the street, i saw a girl, she was pretty, I was nervous. i walked past her, she grabed my butt, i turned around, she winked, so i waved, she motioned for me to come over i shook my head, she motioned again, i shook my head she walked up to me, she hit me in the balls and ran.
i was walking down the street, and i saw her again, she didn't see me, i hid behind a tree, she was jogging, i jumped out and grabbed her by her hair, threw her head against the tree, put my hands around her neck, i could feel her legs kicking, i could feel her hands trying to pull my hands off, she went limp. i dragged her lifeless body to her parents house, i rang the doorbell and left.
i met a guy named rickety crickett. He saw me strangle that girl. He gave me some kicks and tight pants, told me to roll them up. he showed me how to spit it, showed me how to grow a beard, he tought me how to lay low, he took me with him to new york. i've been living here for a month now, i've killed four others since then.

Monday, November 14, 2011

I'm a dentist, and I drill people

His name was Greg, he was a dentist. WAS a dentist. One day while DRILLING the patient, he noticed something rather strange in the back of their mouth, it was some kind of tooth-like thing, it was small and green, with a a strip of crystals through it. It drove him crazy wondering what it was, he lost sleep, he pulled the wrong teeth, he ate the wrong food, he drank drain-o, jk, not really, but he was pretty SCREWED up (get it? screwed up? he is a dentist? funny right?) anywho, one night when he waqs alone in his office, "working late" he grabbed the patients file to "review" it, he took the address and with his boom box loud playing  brokencydes new album he kidnapped the patient hit him in the head with a bucket of golf balls and pulled the tooth!

After carefully studying the tooth, he realized that it wasn't a green tooth at all! it was a TIME MACHINE!
Where will he go!? what will he do when he gets there!? will he use this time machine for good, for bad, or for pleasure!? This post is horse shit.

or is it?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

High school means nothing.

trailer trash- modest mouse
My name is Isacc, i'm eighteen, the eldest of three children. Growing up I fell asleep to my parents fighting, and woke up to them screaming. After my parents finally got a divorce I took it upon myself to take care of my little brothers and my kid sister. I live in a trailer, I work over 50 hours a week, and I'm in high school, although, It means nothing.

Pitchfork- Joshua James
Joshua  is in his mid twenties, He became a janitor to work his way through college--his boss is a high school drop out--appliances begin to break but Joshua can't seem to pay for them to be fixed. fighting between him and his lover due to finacial issues arise. His lover begins to wish she would have become an actress instead of running away to live and love with a small town farm boy.

How Firm a Foundation- Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Luci is a poor chinese school girl, she lives in poverty  both her parents went to high school and college, yet they barely make enough to pay the bills, she has problems with her self esteem so she starts to sleep around, one night while "in the act" she has a brilliant idea, she is going to make money off of one of her favorite activities.
After a few months she becomes extremely sick, she is poorer then ever due to her drug and alcohol abuse, but! she is also poor in spirit, one night after she did a two for one deal she saw something that caught her eye, it was a book, after reading the back page she realised that she needed to put her problems into the lords hands, she begins building a strong faith in the lord jesus christ, she becomes very religous, she puts her past behind her and rises to success, while traveling the U.S. talking to HIGH schoolers about not selling your body to the devil she encounters her EX-PIMP, WHAT WILL HE DO!?