It's not that I wanna die, It's just that I don't wanna live.
To be perfectly honest, I really don't know if I actually exist. If I'm real.
Am I alive? Is everything an illusion?
I don't really feel much. I don't feel hatred, I don't feel Love, I Don't feel happiness, or anything even remotely close to it.
I can't stand the feeling of others touching me.
I don't sleep much at night. I can't. Too many thoughts, I'm on the brink of insomnia.
Sometimes I find myself doing things, just to feel the pain of it. It seems as though pain is the only way I can remind myself that I'm here, that I'm real, That I actually do exist.
What's the point of living if I can't feel anything.
Why should I stay here if I can't be touched, can't be hugged, can't hold a hand, can't kiss, or be kissed. Can't make love, can't hold someone. Can't be held while I cry.
Is God alive?
What if God really is dead? What if the devil has taken over Gods kingdom, over his reign. I know that he has here. Just look around you. Look at you. Look at me, especially at me. We're all going to Hell.
Is life worth living?
Whoever says it's worth it, has never felt the way I do.
William R. Holden