I was playing zelda six hours a day, i was drinking more mountain dew then ever, I must admit, i had a drinking problem. I didn't have a drivers liscense, I didn't have a girlfriend, i didn't have a life, i wore horrible shoes, i wore terrible pants, i wore v-necks and shorts, i wore flip flops, i had horrible hair, it was neat.
I was walking down the street, i saw a girl, she was pretty, I was nervous. i walked past her, she grabed my butt, i turned around, she winked, so i waved, she motioned for me to come over i shook my head, she motioned again, i shook my head she walked up to me, she hit me in the balls and ran.
i was walking down the street, and i saw her again, she didn't see me, i hid behind a tree, she was jogging, i jumped out and grabbed her by her hair, threw her head against the tree, put my hands around her neck, i could feel her legs kicking, i could feel her hands trying to pull my hands off, she went limp. i dragged her lifeless body to her parents house, i rang the doorbell and left.
i met a guy named rickety crickett. He saw me strangle that girl. He gave me some kicks and tight pants, told me to roll them up. he showed me how to spit it, showed me how to grow a beard, he tought me how to lay low, he took me with him to new york. i've been living here for a month now, i've killed four others since then.